Naiinis ako. I hate it when people try to control your life. I'm 26, for goodness' sake! Some people at my age are already married. Which means, at this age, we can already decide for ourselves and what we want to do with our lives.

I know my family loves me and they're just showing their concern. It's just the way they show it. Sobrang nakakapikon. It's like they want you to know they don't like it and pushes it down your throat. Hindi yung bibigyan ka ng chance to explain. Ni minsan they never asked me what the offer is about, and then, they'd tell me na I can't accept the offer.

I've been deciding whether or not to accept an offer to supervise a grocery at Roxas, Mindoro. I really like the place. It's really simple, but the idea of supervising the store (it's like owning it yet you don't spend for it), living independently and being away to take care of myself really excites me. But ultimately, I'm going to do what God wants me to do.

I have been closely studying the readings for each day and taking out what strikes me. Ever since I started this plight, the readings were all about going away and that God loves each and every one of us. He also mentions to trust in Him and in the Spirit. Siguro nga nagkataon lang that I'm experiencing it at the time when He ascended and soon the SPirit will descent na... but I know that nothing is coincidental. God has His own perfect timing. And so, this week, I'm actually on a 70-30% rate of accepting the offer.

Then came last night the whole story of my family deciding for me. One aunt counter-offered. I really appreciate their help, but I really want to decide for myself. Kung ito lang hindi na nila papadecide sa akin, how much more if I want to go to China or elsewhere? It's so lucky for me na nga that I'm trying it out in Mindoro and it's so near pa rin Manila... Eh pano na if it were another country?

I want to scream... parang nagulo tuloy yung meditation ko on this matter... mas gusto ko tuloy umalis ngayon para lang mang-inis... pero I know naman kahit ngayon No More Mr. Nice Guy ako, eventually God will let me humble myself and accept His plan... so ngayon, balik ako sa square one of not knowing what to do... this week pa naman ang deadline ko...

In my heart, ready na ako... I know God will make this work... even to the point of hurting my family muna... if this is God's will, they will understand someday...