it's been a crazy month. my banner month. this month, i've hit rock bottom, got all depressed, rose up... and the end of it all, i realized so many things.


change is good. while i was depressed, i felt that i didn't want to go anywhere. i didn't want to do good, create good or do anything good. i just want to stop and take my sweet time to figure things out. i knew what to do... but somehow, i allowed myself to be pulled down by this depression... i let it get to me... and i suddenly forgot how to live. i was so uncertain that i'd cry every time i'd talk about what happened to me. and so i let it be... then i remembered my la salle friends. when i was dumped by a guy who i thought back then i really loved, they were there to support me. they were the nicest people ever... they didn't stop supporting me. likewise when my dad had a stroke... i know that i am a better and stronger person because they've helped me be one. and so i sent an email asking them to pray for me... and in their own way, they supported me again. it never fails... though i know this feeling of certainty isn't forever, for the meantime, i can just count my blessings and change my perspective. i still have a hard time trusting the "happily ever after" or the "sureness" of things... but i know im slowly moving on... and after a few days of wallowing in this depression, i find myself taking baby steps to happiness. and right now, i feel better... i feel a "summer sunshine" in my heart... because i realize... God is with me all the way... and He allowed me to feel that way because i was already relying on myself too much... he sent instruments to remind me of His great love for me in the people i'd least expect it from.


and so with this philosophy, i wanted to change something. i've already cut my hair... im so stereotype... i always cut my hair when im depressed... so i can't touch that because my hair's short na... so my blog was my target... im so happy the way it turned out... though sometimes i see the background, sometimes i don't... it still looks great... and with all the improvements, from the comments to the colors to the music... i feel as if im getting there... ;)


change is defintely good...