it happens pala... this paying it forward thing. the little things u do that u don't even think will have an effect later on will have an effect... john oliver emailed me to say thank you for something that i did when we were in the height of our fccs gatherings. i gave them a personality test... if they were a doer, influencer, relater, etc... and if u are, what are the things u can improve on and which u can strengthen more. he told me that he used this test in his mba presentation in up and it was the highlight of the evening. i'm grateful he sent me an email to tell me that. sometimes we get caught up in this rat race and forget to thank people... and with this, i'm thanking God... because without Him, i couldn't have possibly built the fccs and met these wonderful people.


yesterday, i was on leave again. i think i must have taken one and a half weeks leave because of this souvenir program. which means, i'm going to broke again! and the bills are really piling up too. hay. i wish i was a student, getting my allowance and just studying. being grown up isn't always fun! and to think that i so wanted to work already when i was little... but that's life i guess. u always wish u weren't living in the moment... but life teaches you that u have to live in the moment or else, it will just pass you by... back to the souvenir program... i really had mixed emotions doing it... i learned so much from the history, from the people and how people works... sometimes in a good way, sometimes bad. good because i'm grateful for people who helped me even if they aren't part of the team... like joan. last thursday, i was at quiapo from 2pm until 840pm checking the layout of the souvenir program. and after, since i had to do some more grammar checking, i went to joan's place... pinakain pa nya ako ng dinner and her bday cake. afterwards, i went home and went online to send her a file... sus, mga 140am na ata kami natapos... we chatted naman thru ym kaya at least may fruits din naman yung pagpupuyat... hay... so anyway i had to take a leave yesterday because i was really tired na. pero ayun, at least tapos na sya. Am really grateful na tapos na ang paghihirap. i learned a lot... that's what i can say. i also learned it's really hard to be on top...


yesterday was also my big brother's birthday. i had to miss practice since i promised myself that i'll be there na for my family. i've neglected them for more than 5 years already and i didn't want to neglect them anymore. sila na lang nga ang nandyan for me in good times and in bad. so i missed practice. i was also supposed to watch princess diaries with john and jaja... i really wanted to watch and hahabol sana ako kasi papahatid ako sa shoti ko after our family's dinner... pero since hindi nila sinasagot where they intend to watch and hindi nila sinasagot phone nila... i guess hindi na lang.


sometimes i feel defeated. no matter how much u want to swing things to a win-win situation, in some ways, hindi talaga kaya. at this point, i really dread going to st. peter... i know the problem's with me... i lost my patience... and i can't seem to force myself to think that they're God's people and so... i have to love them. in some ways i do naman... but i lost my ability to hang on pag kasama ko sila and when they show me the things i don't like about them... parang nagsn-snap na yung thin line and i get all affected. sabi ni jovy... i'm so kind daw kasi that i absorb things i'm not supposed to absorb... and i can't change myself for being this way... it's a curse... but it's also a gift. so at this point, parang ayoko na talaga bumalik ng st peter. the only thing that pulls me there is the youth... pero how long can i last?


today i was supposed to meet wyn for lunch at makati... so i was waiting for a taxi... eh mejo 12+ na so it was hard to get one... i was waiting like 15 minutes sa corner ng 6th street and hemady na when suddenly, ang bilis, i felt my bag being snatched... nakamotor yung two guys... buti na lang my hand was gripping the handle of the bag... so i still managed to hang on sa bag ko... nasira yung handle sa side where he tried to snatch it pero at least yun lang nasira. i went home na lang... naisip ko baka ayaw talaga ako palabasin ni Lord... so i cancelled my date with wyn. pumasok sa isip ko... talagang naghihirap na talaga ang mundo... i mean, u wouldn't just snatch someone's bag if walang dahilan diba? i forgave them na... but i have to be careful na next time... phobia na ako sa mga nakamotor na may naka-angkas. pwede kayo ipasa sa law na hindi na pwede mag-angkas? hay, wishful thinking na yun. pero even with all this happening... i thank God... at least yun lang nangyari sa akin. hindi ako nasaksak... hindi ako nabugbog... at wala pang nawala...


tomorrow i'm going to the feast ni bo sanchez. am so excited... it'll be my first time to attend. i need to have input na... wala na akong input and with all that i've heard about bo, sana i'll get inspired again. Lord... help me. ikaw na bahala.