tonight, i felt the pang of loneliness again. but i didn't allow myself to wallow in it. however, i know i have to get it out of my system to move on.


well, tonight is actually another one of those nights that you feel so alone... that you could actually count your real friends with just one hand and they're located in different parts of the world. in my case, it's quite ironic that i lost connection with a lot of friends who are just within the city... yet maintained great connection with friends who are now located in us, iloilo and other countries. i feel sad losing connection to some of the friends who i thought would be friends for life. but it's a sad reality that i have to sink in. we're getting old, perhaps sentimental and when i really see a group of friends laughing, talking, i feel a sense of "I wish I had those kind of friends". it doesn't help that in the office, there's somebody who i am getting close to who has those set of friends. i know sometimes i must be at fault in losing those connection, but i feel a sense of loss that why should i always be the one to reach out? sometimes i need to be reached to as well...


yet in these moments, i know God has a reason for this happening. and maybe it's just hormones. but this is what i feel right now and it felt good being honest to myself. i am a person after all, with real feelings, with real hurts and pains and with faith in God that some day i can look back on this entry and smile.

i leave you with barbra streisand's people...

BARBRA STREISAND "People (From Funny Girl)"

Fanny and Nick steal a private moment
at the party and discover they are both
a little lonely. Fanny sings:

We travel single-oh
Maybe we're lucky, but I don't know--
With them,
Just let one kid fall down
And seven mothers faint.
I guess we're both happy, but maybe--
We ain't.
People--people who need people
Are the luckiest people in the world,
We're children, needing other children
And yet letting our grown-up pride
Hide all the need inside,
Acting more like children
Than children.

Lovers are very special people,
They're the luckiest people
In the world.
With one person, one very special person
A feeling deep in your soul
Says you were half,
Now you're whole.
No more hunger and thirst
But first be a person
Who needs people.
People who need people
Are the luckiest people
In the world!

Nick has to leave the party early because
he's going to Kentucky the next day but
promises to call Fanny when he returns
to New York.