i've noticed that the past entries i posted were all kinda melodramatic so i wanted to post something on a lighter note. my life is all ups and downs but there are some light-hearted moments.
... like when i first hear my nephew say "Pa-me" - my cat's name is Padme.
... like when i laughed so hard with sonia and robert over their wedding.
... like when i was touched that jeff reached out to me when i was so down.
... like when i would be blessed financially when i was so short.
... like when i would remember all the wonderful memories jovy, char and i had.
... like when i would feel blessed and loved by the Lord.
i know life would always present something challenging... and i have my blog to unload that, too. but life will always have that tender, heart-warming moments that would always melt your heart and make you smile deep inside. moments that i would always treasure.
Yesterday, I coordinated yet another friend's wedding. Whenever I think of weddings, I am happy for the couple. Yet deep inside, I feel a sense of loneliness. And that's because I miss my dad. I watched a movie starring Amanda Bynes longing for that father-daughter dance and I relate so much to her feelings of being incomplete. I know I still have a long way to go - and not sure of even getting married - but I sometimes wonder if I'll have the chance to dance with my dad if I get married some day. And there, with weddings I've coordinated with father-daughter dances, I am reminded that life is short, and we should always savor what we have... and have taken for granted because you really won't know when you can't have them anymore...
reuben morgan with his family...
Reuben Morgan is a pastor in Hillsong church in Sydney, Australia and he's a songwriter, guitarist and lead vocals. He wrote the songs I give you my heart, shout to the Lord, all things are possible, my redeemer lives
God surely seems to be looking after me. and i'm touched that He does. today i went to the Hillsong worship workshop with vange at the araneta coliseum and attended the praise and worship by Reuben Morgan after. it was such an experience! i had a great time. i had a great time with the Lord and it warms my heart to see all people... from different congregations come together in love for Christ to listen to great music...
the seminar was awesome... God works! they're so good because they were able to make music in just a few minutes. i really enjoyed the talk paul gave. he said... in groove, there are four things to consider... pulse, forward motion, unity and dynamics. for the pulse, it was the bass. the forward motion was the chords that gave depth to songs. the unity of course was the coming together of all the instruments... the dynamics were the soft and loud tones, the "high" and "low" of a song. it was pretty basic but it sure was really helpful!
then the praise and worship session really rocked! i really am glad i went to this with vange. it was so fun, and since it was spirit-filled, was an amazing, amazing sight to see.Lord, I really enjoyed this time with you! i learned so many things... but most of all, my love for singing and worshipping you is still there... and i was able to forget for a while all the hurts i carried with me... the insecurities, the disappointment.... for a moment, gone. it was like the spirit lifted me and has carried me under its wings to spend time with you Lord. an awesome experience indeed... Lord, may i remember this moment and believe always that you love me, and i need to love myself for me to love you back.Lord I give you my heart
I give you my soul
I live for you alone
Every breath that I take
Every moment I'm awake
Lord, have your way in me...My Redeemer Lives!
- Reuben Morrgan, Hillsong
i don't know when it started... but i became disappointed at myself. i finally took a long hard look at the mirror and faced me... my honest self... and i discovered a lot of things that i wasn't proud of. it was like i wanted to erase the image and patch it up all over again. but i knew deep inside that i couldn't. and this experience will make me stronger. but until then... i know i face myself with a sigh and wondered what happened. when did i become so self-absorbed that i saw myself as those people who i hated for being so self-absorbed? and i saw my faults... as faults. no excuses whatsoever. when did i become so selfish that my heart could not be content? some people may mistake my thoughts as being self pity... but i know better. i've been accused of that before and it doesn't come close at what i am actually feeling right now. i know this isn't self-pity... it's more of a self 360 degrees evaluation that i find that what people know about me... isn't all roses. and it's sometimes a scary fact. but i will face them... as i face all my challenges with a strong conviction that i have the Lord with me.
Lord... please create in me a clean heart... i have been troubled for so long now. i know one day i will smile at this but at this moment, in my little corner of my world... please cast a light to uplift me... to make me realize how i can rise above all this at the mere mention of ur name... and how u still see me as a precious daughter longing and thirsting for the heart and love of her Maker and father. make my heart beat for you... that i may see my blessings and believe... u will make a way for me... until then Lord... i'll give thanks to you, with gratitude, for lessons learned...
my phone was stolen last tuesday when i was in sm manila... it's sad that i lost it... i haven't lost anything of value yet and this is my first. i just got the phone last April even. oh well, life moves on. i have my sim card replaced and am using my old phone again. so to my people who read my blog, please send me a text message para i can save your numbers. thanks!
that's it muna. goodbye 7260...